I'd rather be hunting Easter eggs or small woodland creatures....

But unfortunately, I'm currently engaged in a different type of hunt altogether, and the prey is far more elusive. This is, of course, the job hunt. Having spent a total of seven years pursuing higher education, and possessing two degrees as a result, one might think (as I did) that there would be a large number of employers lining up to offer me lots of money to do something that I find both interesting and rewarding. However, this is not the case at all. There are actually two serious flaws in this scenario: 1) there are no employers lining up to offer me anything at all, and 2) I really haven't come across any careers that I find especially interesting or rewarding.

So this morning I log onto monster.com, as has become part of my usual morning routine, and mentally prepare myself for another frustrating day of online job searching. Before I start to type a few choice words into the search box, though, something in the corner of the page catches my eye: the "Self-Assessment Tests" section on the bottom of the welcome screen. When I looked more closely, I saw that the first test listed was entitled "Right Job, Wrong Job." "Perfect!" I thought to myself, "maybe this will give the direction I've been so desperately seeking!" I eagerly clicked the link, and began working my way through the multiple choice-type questions that followed.

The whole process seemed reasonable enough - there were questions about balancing work and family, about personal interests, etc - and as I finished the last questions, my mind started racing with the thought of the life-changing revelations that were getting ready to appear on my monitor. When the page finally loaded, my excitement quickly faded. In front of me was a list of career choices completely unrelated to anything in my educational background. Now it's not like I've spent the last seven years studying 3rd century Celtic footwear. My degrees are in business and law - two fields that initially attracted me because the job flexibility that each offered (or so I thought). But here on this list were careers that, while all perfectly respectable, would basically require me to start college all over again. Not that such a situation wouldn't be the coolest thing ever, but financially I really need to start making money instead of continuing to burn through it.

The list read as follows:
1) Architect
2) Psychologist
3) Computer systems analyst
4) Chemist
5) Pilot
6) Flight engineer
7) Veterinarian

Again, there is absolutely nothing wrong with any of these jobs except for the fact that I am completely unqualified for any of them. This is not exactly the epiphany I had in mind. However, this whole exercise was not a total loss, as I was able to learn quite a few other interesting things about myself from the other tests that are offered on the site (the link in monster.com actually re-directs you to tickle.com, which is full of other fun, informative, and time-wasting tests; some job-related, and some not) Among other things, I learned I may excel in a career in the field of "investigation and testing" (private investigator or manual writer); my personality is "introverted/sensing/feeling/perceiving;" and my true talent is "spatial ability and abstract reasoning" (which apparently is also good for architects). I also found out that if I were a dog, I would be a golden retriever; if I were in Star Wars, I would be R2-D2; I'm an indulgent eater, and my subconscious is driven by sexuality.

By the time I finished this extensive battery of tests, I had pretty much wasted the entire day, and I was still no closer to deciding exactly what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Oh well, at least I didn't get labeled as a C-3PO - he's such a loser. The hunt continues....

"You know I've always wanted to pretend I was an architect."

- George Costanza