How it Feels to Get Robbed by a Nun

This is actually something that happened to me about two weeks ago, and for some reason I completely forgot to post it (actually it's kind of stupid, and that's why I forgot to post it, but I've got nothing better to do this afternoon, so here goes). And no, the title isn't a metaphor for something else. I swear, this actually happened.*

It all started when I was out with my mom trying to find something for my dad for Christmas, and we ended up at Sears. I got out of the car and was walking towards the store, when something caught my eye: it was one of those white oval bumper stickers (NC folks probably know them as the "OBX" stickers) that usually have a city's initials on it. I know you've seen these things. The "JH" one is pretty popular (Jackson Hole, Wy), and the Nantucket one is big too, ("NKT" maybe; I know they use the airport designation, but I can't remember the exact combination of letters) but there are definitely others as well.

Anyway, this particular sticker that I noticed had "SPEC" on that familiar white background, and that immediately reminded me of something that I had not thought about in years. Surely this couldn't be what I thought it was. But as I stepped up for a closer look, I saw the smaller print below the large block "SPEC," and my suspicions were confirmed: "St. Paul's Education Center."


OK, some background is needed here. As I began kindergarten, my parents enrolled me in St. Paul's School, the local Catholic school here in New Bern. That's where I spent my formative years from age 5 to 14, as I didn't get to go to public (or as I like to say, "normal") school until 9th grade. However, when I was in 6th grade, the Diocese built us a shiny new building, and we got a new principal. These two events inspired someone to run with the "fresh-start" theme and formally rename the school to "St. Paul's Education Center." (On a side note, this is also roughly the same time frame that now-convicted-child-molester-priest Fr. Jim was at our Church; see my earlier post for that story)

Then when my class reached the 8th grade, we were assigned a project: we were to break up into groups, and each week a different group would be in charge of using the school's intercom system to deliver news/announcements to the rest of the students and teachers. I'm almost certain this idea was ripped off directly from an old "Saved by the Bell" episode, but that's not really important to the story. I remember being pretty excited about this new project, as it was much cooler than most of the crap we usually had to do around there.

Before we broke into teams, though, there were some basic administrative details that we were supposed to decide together as a class. One of those things was the name for our new "Radio Show." One bright young pupil (uh, myself) suggested simply calling it SPEC Radio, incorporating the school's new initials into the well-known 4-letter radio designation format (WXXX for us in the east; KXXX for you left-coasters). Needless to say, everyone involved was awe-struck by this brilliant idea, and the name was adopted immediately.

Soon the name began to catch on around school. People starting talking about the SPEC, much the same way someone might talk about The OC today (while in fact, the SPEC and The OC have absolutely nothing in common). But eventually my class graduated, and we all began the rather daunting task of adjusting to regular society. For most of us it was through alcohol abuse, while some others dealt with it constructively through humor, some chose drugs, and others just went into deep depression and have been living as hermits ever since.


And it was there, in that Sears parking lot, that everything came rushing back to me. That was MY slogan adorning that bumpersticker. Apparently my brainchild lived on at that school long after I was gone, and now the nuns are cashing in on my idea with a whole line "SPEC" custom merchandise. OK, for all of you IP aficionados out there, I'm sure they technically do have the rights to it since it was all originally part of a school project that they commissioned (plus the fact that it's blatantly obvious), AND I'm sure that the proceeds are probably used to help cover the tuition of under-privileged students or feed and clothe the homeless, but nonetheless, I couldn't help but feel just a little hurt.

And no, I'm not going to drive over there and demand a cut of the profits or anything like that - I wouldn't step foot back in that place even if it were just like The OC - but I would like to at least receive a little credit for the idea. Maybe just a short announcement on the morning radio show?


*Some of these events may not have actually happened. Most of this story is from a LONG time ago, and where I couldn't remember specific details, I made up my own details to try to make it more interesting.