3 Things (That Could Kill Me) I Want To Do Before I Die
There are literally hundreds of things I want to do before I die - travel the world, find true happiness, have physical contact with a female again sometime, etc, etc, etc. However, there are three things in particular that trump all others. And ironically enough, each of these things could very well result in my untimely demise. For the record, should I meet my end through participating in any of these activities, know that I went out fulfilling a life-long dream.
The Luge: Inspired by the recently-closed Turino Olympic Winter Games, this is a relatively new entry to the list. Nonetheless, it has found a place of prominence among all of my hopes and dreams. Sure the Winter Games has its share of awesome sports - downhill skiing, ice hockey, snowboard half-pipe - but to me, the best by far is the luge. And not the two-man luge because that's just kind of creepy. I'm talking you, the sled, and the ice. 80 miles per hour. One of those insane-looking helmets. How freakin' cool! The thing is, I don't even know how one goes about getting involved in the luge. Sure there are ski mountains and ice rinks everywhere, but I've never seen a luge track in real life. That doesn't mean I'm not looking.
Swimming with a Great White Shark: I should probably add the qualifier here that, ideally, I would be in one of those steel cages they always use on the Discovery Channel. However, the lack of such a cage is not a complete disqualifer. Many of you may know that Jaws is probably my favorite movie of all time, and being a fairly-active surfer for nearly 15 years, I've had some run-ins with our dorsal-finned friends (but never with any as big as a Great White). I guess that's where this dream comes from. I really just want to see one of those bad boys up close. I know you can go out on excursions in South Africa and Australia (two places I wouldn't mind visiting anyway), but I've also heard that there's a company out in California now offering similar trips. This one just got much more likely.
Fighting a Wild Animal, Hand-to-Hand: Staying in the animal kingdom, we come to goal number 3. Unfortunately, I can't combine this one with #2 because I feel being in the ocean would be too much of an advantage for the shark (and move the fight to land, it's no contest). For this one, I'm picturing more a jungle cat, or perhaps some type of ape. A kangaroo could potentially work, as well. Maybe even a bear. Anyway, the point is I just want to see how I would stack up against a wild beast with no guns, knifes, or anything other type of weapon. I'm fairly sure I would get my ass completely handed to me, but nevertheless, I am a bit curious how I would come out. There is really just one condition to be met here: both myself and the animal would have to know it was a fight. I would never just attack an unsuspecting animal, and likewise, I don't want something to just jump out of the bushes and grab me when I'm not paying attention. Other than that, I think it could be a go. Can you imagine having this conversation?
Friend: Dude! What the hell happened to your arm?!?
Me: I was battling a jaguar.
Friend: You were what?
Me: You heard me.
Friend: I see.
Me: Yeah.
Ah, someday.
The Luge: Inspired by the recently-closed Turino Olympic Winter Games, this is a relatively new entry to the list. Nonetheless, it has found a place of prominence among all of my hopes and dreams. Sure the Winter Games has its share of awesome sports - downhill skiing, ice hockey, snowboard half-pipe - but to me, the best by far is the luge. And not the two-man luge because that's just kind of creepy. I'm talking you, the sled, and the ice. 80 miles per hour. One of those insane-looking helmets. How freakin' cool! The thing is, I don't even know how one goes about getting involved in the luge. Sure there are ski mountains and ice rinks everywhere, but I've never seen a luge track in real life. That doesn't mean I'm not looking.
Swimming with a Great White Shark: I should probably add the qualifier here that, ideally, I would be in one of those steel cages they always use on the Discovery Channel. However, the lack of such a cage is not a complete disqualifer. Many of you may know that Jaws is probably my favorite movie of all time, and being a fairly-active surfer for nearly 15 years, I've had some run-ins with our dorsal-finned friends (but never with any as big as a Great White). I guess that's where this dream comes from. I really just want to see one of those bad boys up close. I know you can go out on excursions in South Africa and Australia (two places I wouldn't mind visiting anyway), but I've also heard that there's a company out in California now offering similar trips. This one just got much more likely.
Fighting a Wild Animal, Hand-to-Hand: Staying in the animal kingdom, we come to goal number 3. Unfortunately, I can't combine this one with #2 because I feel being in the ocean would be too much of an advantage for the shark (and move the fight to land, it's no contest). For this one, I'm picturing more a jungle cat, or perhaps some type of ape. A kangaroo could potentially work, as well. Maybe even a bear. Anyway, the point is I just want to see how I would stack up against a wild beast with no guns, knifes, or anything other type of weapon. I'm fairly sure I would get my ass completely handed to me, but nevertheless, I am a bit curious how I would come out. There is really just one condition to be met here: both myself and the animal would have to know it was a fight. I would never just attack an unsuspecting animal, and likewise, I don't want something to just jump out of the bushes and grab me when I'm not paying attention. Other than that, I think it could be a go. Can you imagine having this conversation?
Friend: Dude! What the hell happened to your arm?!?
Me: I was battling a jaguar.
Friend: You were what?
Me: You heard me.
Friend: I see.
Me: Yeah.
Ah, someday.
posted by jonphiwil @ 1:29 PM
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