You know what I just LOVE?

...when a bum approaches me on the street, and asks if he can have some money. Then when I give him all the change in my pocket, he responds "It would really help me out if I could get a $5."

Really? Are you serious? Not "thank you," not "God bless you," but "It would really help me out if I could get a $5."

Let's do a little math here: You could stand in your one spot, and at a minimum, about 50 people per hour will walk past you on a typical weekday (this is eastern NC, mind you). If everyone were to give you $5, that's $250/hour, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week - you're making around $10 grand a week. Hell, if even 5% - 10% of the passersby responded to your request, you're still doing better than a lot of new college grads. Not to mention that 8 hours a day is a conservative estimate, since you have nothing else to do (like bathing, obviously), and you can also prey on the tourist crowds on the weekends.

Sounds pretty good to me. So why exactly did I waste my time in law school when I could be panhandling?

Look, I know good people fall on hard times. I know hard working folks get laid off. I know I've had a lot of advantages in my life that many people haven't. But come on. Can you at least fake appreciation?