State of the Union Address: The Abridged Version

Overall, I thought last night's State of the Union address was one of W's better speeches. I give him a B-, maybe a B. As I watched last night, I decided to transcribe the speech word-for-word, interjecting my own thoughts/interpretations where I felt the need (actually, I got the transcript from another website....I've got a lot of time on my hands, but not that much time).

Intro:
W: "Mr. Speaker, Vice President Cheney, Members of Congress, Members of the Supreme Court and diplomatic corps, distinguished guests, and fellow citizens"
Me: Pretty standard stuff

Coretta Scott King:
W: "Today our Nation lost a beloved, graceful, courageous woman who called America to its founding ideals and carried on a noble dream."
Me: Classy move

Partisan politics:
W: "But even tough debates can be conducted in a civil tone, and our differences cannot be allowed to harden into anger. To confront the great issues before us, we must act in a spirit of good will and respect for one another - and I will do my part."
Me: A for effort

Terrorism:
W: "Abroad, our Nation is committed to an historic, long-term goal - we seek the end of tyranny in our world. Some dismiss that goal as misguided idealism. In reality, the future security of America depends on it."
Me: The man's heart is certainly in the right place; first allusion to 9/11 and WMD

Muslims:
W: "No one can deny the success of freedom, but some men rage and fight against it. And one of the main sources of reaction and opposition is radical Islam - the perversion by a few of a noble faith into an ideology of terror and death."
Me: In other words, we only have to be scared of the bad ones

Middle East:
W: "In a time of testing, we cannot find security by abandoning our commitments and retreating within our borders. If we were to leave these vicious attackers alone, they would not leave us alone. They would simply move the battlefield to our own shores. There is no peace in retreat. And there is no honor in retreat."
Me: Our boys are gonna be there awhile

W: "We are the Nation that saved liberty in Europe, and liberated death camps, and helped raise up democracies, and faced down an evil empire. Once again, we accept the call of history to deliver the oppressed, and move this world toward peace."
Me: Terrorists are equal to or greater than Nazis on evil scale

Iraq:
W: "And we are on the offensive in Iraq, with a clear plan for victory."
Me: Good to hear we have a plan, as opposed to just giving it the feel test each morning

The Good Dems:
W: "Along the way, we have benefited from responsible criticism and counsel offered by Members of Congress of both parties. In the coming year, I will continue to reach out and seek your good advice."
Me: W showing some love here

The Bad Dems:
W: "Yet there is a difference between responsible criticism that aims for success, and defeatism that refuses to acknowledge anything but failure. Hindsight alone is not wisdom. And second-guessing is not a strategy."
Me: More ridicule than love at this point

Letter from deceased soldier:
as read by W: "I know what honor is. It has been an honor to protect and serve all of you. I faced death with the secure knowledge that you would not have to.... Never falter! Don't hesitate to honor and support those of us who have the honor of protecting that which is worth protecting."
Me: Bring out the Kleenex

Palestinian elections:
W: "The Palestinian people have voted in elections - now the leaders of Hamas must recognize Israel, disarm, reject terrorism, and work for lasting peace."
Me: Wait, aren't we in favor of free elections so these guys don't end up charge?

Patriot Act:
W: "The enemy has not lost the desire or capability to attack us. Fortunately, this Nation has superb professionals in law enforcement, intelligence, the military, and homeland security... They also deserve the same tools they already use to fight drug trafficking and organized crime - so I ask you to reauthorize the Patriot Act."
Me: Here we get the infamous "one-half standing ovation"

Wire-tapping:
W: "So to prevent another attack - based on authority given to me by the Constitution and by statute - I have authorized a terrorist surveillance program to aggressively pursue the international communications of suspected al-Qaida operatives and affiliates to and from America."
Me: OK, we realize you mean well, but please just tell me why you don't need a warrant.

Economy:
W: "Our economy is healthy, and vigorous, and growing faster than other major industrialized nations. In the last two-and-a-half years, America has created 4.6 million new jobs"
Me: Say what?

Taxes:
W: "In the last five years, the tax relief you passed has left 880 billion dollars in the hands of American workers, investors, small businesses, and families...Because America needs more than a temporary expansion, we need more than temporary tax relief. I urge the Congress to act responsibly, and make the tax cuts permanent."
Me: I'm all for it, until you start cutting important government programs

Budget:
W: "This year my budget will cut it again, and reduce or eliminate more than 140 programs that are performing poorly or not fulfilling essential priorities."
Me: Oh.

Baby Boomers:
W: "This year, the first of about 78 million Baby Boomers turn 60, including two of my Dad's favorite people - me, and President Bill Clinton."
Me: Good one, W.

Social Security:
W: "I ask you to join me in creating a commission to examine the full impact of Baby Boom retirements on Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid."
Me: That is SO last year

Foreign oil dependence:
W: "America is addicted to oil...The best way to break this addiction is through technology. Since 2001, we have spent nearly 10 billion dollars to develop cleaner, cheaper, more reliable alternative energy sources... zero-emission coal-fired plants...solar and wind ... better batteries for hybrid and electric cars, and in pollution-free cars that run on hydrogen...this country can dramatically improve our environment ... move beyond a petroleum-based economy ... and make our dependence on Middle Eastern oil a thing of the past."
Me: Wow, almost Al Gore-esque

Education:
W: "Tonight I announce the American Competitiveness Initiative, to encourage innovation throughout our economy, and to give our Nation's children a firm grounding in math and science."
Me: Kids that do smart be needed for competing

Ethics:
W: "Americans..are concerned about unethical conduct by public officials, and discouraged by activist courts that try to redefine marriage."
Me: Take that Republican Congressmen and liberal judges!

Justices Alito and Roberts:
W: "The Supreme Court now has two superb new members, Chief Justice John Roberts and Justice Sam Alito. I thank the Senate for confirming both of them. And I will continue to nominate men and women who understand that judges must be servants of the law, and not legislate from the bench."
Me: I wonder if there really is a "Family Guy"-like initiation ritual for the new guys

Genetics:
W: "Tonight I ask you to pass legislation to prohibit the most egregious abuses of medical research - human cloning in all its forms... creating or implanting embryos for experiments ... creating human-animal hybrids "
Me: Obviously not a fan of either Attack of the Clones OR Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Aimless children:
W: "Through the Helping America's Youth Initiative, we are encouraging caring adults to get involved in the life of a child"
Me: Unless it's Michael Jackson

Katrina:
W: "So far the Federal government has committed 85 billion dollars to the people of the Gulf Coast and New Orleans. We are removing debris, repairing highways, and building stronger levees. We are providing business loans and housing assistance."
Me: Better late than never, I guess

Closing:
W: "Thank you, God bless you, and may God bless America."
Me: Amen