Dear Sony Corporation:

I have been a consumer of your fine products your a number of years. The very first CD player I ever had was on the Sony stereo I got when about 12 years old. A few years after that I got a Sony Discman for long car trips with the parents, and when I got my license and my own car (sans in-dash CD), I had one of those cassette tapes that plugged into the earphone jack. I'm not even going to go into how much time I've devoted to the Playstation. All fine products that have brought me much entertainment.

My motivation for writing you today, however, has nothing to do with any of those devices. It actually doesn't have anything to do with any of your products per se, but rather with your recent marketing campaigns for the PSP.

You see, we live in a society where video game mascots and pitchmen can become cultural icons. Mario and Luigi, Sonic the Hedgehog, Mr and Ms Pacman...celebrities all in their own right. If I were in charge of marketing a video game system, I think I would be aiming to come up with some sort of character to join the ranks of those previously-mentioned icons. Something to be the public face of the product. Something instantly-recognizable to the average guy on the street. Something you could make into an action figure and sell to kids. You get the idea.

That's why it bothers me - both as a consumer, and as someone who took several marketing classes in college - when I see your latest PSP commercials on television. Your "spokesman" is neither a kid-friendly Pikachu-type nor someone a little more for the older crowds like Master Chief. It is instead, what I can only describe as a huge wad of pubic hair....that talks with an exaggerated Mexican accent.



Are you kidding me? You're a well-respected multinational corporation...you must have quite a marketing budget at your disposal. And you spend it on this? I imagine that meeting must have gone something like this:

(In a modern, upscale conference room, several people in suits mill about making small talk as they wait for the Director of Marketing to arrive. Promo footage from a variety of Sony products plays on two enormous plasma screens on opposite walls. The skyline of the city is visible through the large window in the back of the room. Director enters.)

Director: Alright folks, let's get started. The PSP launch is coming up, and it's our job to get the word out. I want to hear some ideas....

Man in suit: I think we need a franchise figure....just look at what Pokemon did for the Gameboy...

Woman across the table: We've got to think about our target audience....the prime gaming demographic is getting older, and trends indicate....

Man #2 (who in my mind looks like John Karr, and talks like Dr. Mephisto from South Park): I say we use pubic hair....a big clump of it.....that talks....

(stunned looks are exchanged around the room)

Director (sits silently, stares down at nothing in particular, his expression indicates he is deep in thought; finally he looks up): Brilliant! I'll have our designers start working on concept art immediately!

(More stunned looks are shared; Man #2's creepy grin reveals a mouth full of yellowing teeth)


How it ended up with the accent is a different story entirely, but you get the idea. This whole concept is obviously the result of some bizarre mix of pervertedness and ineptitude, but I'm not sure which factor is the dominant one. Regardless, I find it both disturbing and disgusting.