In lieu of Arrested Development, I offer a Rant

Here it is, 8:00 on Monday night, and yet there are no Bleuths on my television screen. But instead of just rehashing everything from my last post, but continuing in the same spirit, I thought I would take this opportunity to rant about some other things that have bothered/annoyed/angered me lately. Here they are, in no particular order.

Drew Rosenhaus: Are you honestly going to stand there and tell me with a straight face that Terrell Owens is being treated unfairly? How about this - if I ever get a job - I go into the office, park in my boss's private spot, then start a fist fight with a co-worker. Let's see what happens then. My guess is my ass gets fired and I might even take a little trip downtown in the back of a police cruiser. T.O. is still making millions of dollars. THAT'S what isn't fair.

Christmas: not the birth of our Lord and Savior or visits from Santa per se, but instead, my problem is with people who choose to decorate their homes/offices/stores for the big day in early November. Thanksgiving Day should be the absolute earliest that I lay eyes on garland or little twinkling lights. I know some people who get their Christmas tree on Thanksgiving Day, and then decorate it that evening after the big meal. That's OK....it's early, but it's acceptably early. When I see people with trees/lights up and stores already advertising decorations, etc in their sales sheets in the second week of November, that's where I draw the line. Christmas has already basically consumed Thanksgiving; before we know it, it will have done the same to Halloween.

Joan Cusack: You're a grown woman. Why do you talk like a 12 year old girl who has just gotten braces?

Beach Renourishment: My problem here has nothing to do the environmental consequences, although I'm sure there's something wrong from that standpoint too. I'm more concerned with the soft, loosely-packed sand that comprises the beach after the pumping is finished but before the tractors have a chance to smooth it out. You see, one of the simple pleasures I enjoy in life is running on the beach, and I participate in that activity as often as I can. Due to Hurricane Ophelia, however, the beaches around here needed a little beefing up, and the powers that be just recently got around to finishing the job. Now running on the beach is about as enjoyable as running uphill in 2 feet of snow - you literally sink right through the new stuff with each step.

The Black Eyed Peas: I'm not really one who follows the pop music genre, but these guys have had a pretty good run of producing catchy and altogether tolerable music lately. It's been a nice break from the Ashlee Simpsons of the world that you inevitably hear playing at various stores and when you're riding in the car with your mom. However, the other day I heard the song "My Humps" for the first time. I would rather have some South American brain termite enter my ear canal than the sound waves produced from playing this "song."

Samantha Brown: OK, so this one's a little more obscure, but bear with me. I am obsessed with TV travel shows. Especially one's dealing with Europe - as traveling around Europe is something I enjoy even more than running on the beach. I've been a huge fan of Rick Steves for several years, and I think Rudy Maxa produces a pretty high quality product as well, but I'm always on the look out for a new contender in the "make me jealous that I'm not sitting in some random bar in Germany trying to hit on some random girl whose language I don't even speak" category of home entertainment. So you can imagine my excitement when I found about the show "Passport to Europe" on the Travel Channel. My excitement quickly faded after viewing my first episode, though, thanks to the one and only Ms. Samantha Brown. Never before - in real life or on television - have I encountered someone with a personality that grates on my nerves the way this woman's does. Let's just say if she was anymore sugary, you could get diabetes just from watching her. To make matters worse, she gets PAID to do a job I would gladly do for free - traveling the world, visiting exotic destinations, sampling the cuisine, meeting the friendly locals. How did she score this gig, and what do I need to do to take it from her? Fly to Rome myself and battle her gladiator-style in the ruins of the Coliseum? I'd welcome the chance.

George Lucas: The Star Wars prequals were pretty good, but they definitely could've been a lot better. I come to that conclusion after having devoted the better part of this past weekend to watching the entire saga all the way through. More on this (actually much, much more) to come.

Lindsay Lohan: Am I supposed to find you attractive? I know that's what the media is telling me, but I just don't see it.

Preseason rankings: I am not a fan at all of the BCS, but there is one good thing about that I just can't deny: the first rankings don't come out until the season is well underway. Why do the AP and ESPN polls continue to come out before a single player has even stepped on the field/court? Sure it gives the guys on SportsCenter and in bars around the country something to talk about while waiting for the actual games to start, but the harm it is capable of doing is hard to ignore. Let's say, hypothetically, that 'Bama had won on Saturday and - along with USC and Texas - had gone on to win out the rest of the season. The Trojans and the Longhorns would still be playing for the national title even though all three teams would have identical records. Why? Because USC and Texas were #1 and #2 in the preseason polls (that are oh-so-important to the BCS formula) and the Tide were unranked (#24 in the USA Today poll). This makes it completely irrelevant that 'Bama would've emerged undefeated in an SEC conference that is much stronger top-to-bottom than either the PAC 10 or the Big 12. USC and Texas are rewarded because they met expectations; 'Bama is punished for exceeding them. Of course that didn't happen (this year), but with basketball starting to tip off this week, it really got me thinking about the unfairness of it all. The potential for the same type of problem is much less in basketball, with so many more games played to separate the contenders from the pretenders, but it could still happen. What if it makes only a one seed difference in the tournament? What if that one seed is the difference between getting a 4-13 matchup and the dreaded 5-12?

OK, well I feel much better for getting all that off my chest. Now it's time for Prison Break.