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Exploring that Awkward Time of Life in between Grad School and Marriage.

Friday, December 30, 2005

2005: The Soundtrack

Here we are at the end of another year, and what a year it's been. This year saw a lot of good times and a lot of not-so-good times, a lot of beginnings and a lot of endings. I had been playing around with some ideas for year-in-review posts - best movies, best songs, pure autobiographical stuff - but finally decided on a sort of hybrid: a list of the most memorable songs of the year set against a backdrop of the things that happened in my life of the year. I've always been the type of person that associates events with whatever song is playing/popular when that event happens, so this really isn't too much of a stretch for me. Actually the hardest part was just narrowing down the song list to something manageable.

2005 was a unique year for me in several ways, but one thing in particular especially stands out - in 2005 I lived in all three places I've ever really called home (actually 4 places, if you count drifting around Europe as one, because I got to do that this year, too). Therefore I divided the year into three parts, and came up with 3 different mixes to represent each one. And because I was in each place for roughly the same amount of time, I feel like I came up with a good overview of the entire year. Yeah some of these songs came out earlier than '05, so there are a couple of "new to me" picks, but hopefully that's not a problem for you. So here we go - my life this year, and the songs that were playing in the background - 2005: The Soundtrack


January through mid-May

Disc #1: Miami
Spending my last few months in Miami and ultimately leaving there in May was bittersweet in every possible way. Many of you probably know that I didn't exactly love law school or the city of Miami, but I sure had some good times along the way. For all of the awful classes, pointless reading assignments, shitty traffic, and moronic locals, there were at least twice as many fun things like those wild nights at Sunset Tavern/Cocoanut Grove/South Beach, Dean's Cup, IM basketball, of course, The Bricks. Fortunately I'm finding that the longer I'm away from Miami the more good things I remember and the more bad things I forget. That, however, does just make me miss it more. I really hated the way that graduation was so anti-climatic, with bar review starting the very next freakin' day and lots of people literally having to fly out as soon as the ceremony was over. Whoever came up with that system should be shot. Anyway, here's the music that got me through all of that:


Kings of Leon:
The Bucket
- I really like this band, and I don't know why they aren't more popular here in the US (they're huge in the UK). This is a great track from a great album.
Bloc Party:
Banquet
- 2005 saw a lot of dance rock/80's revival acts, and this was one of the best.
U2:
Sometimes You Can't Make it on Your Own
- I almost didn't buy How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb because Vertigo had already been so played out in that damn iPod commercial, but this is just one of many solid tracks on that album.
The Mars Volta:
Cygnus...Vismund Cygnus
- I don't even know where to start on this one; if you've never heard this song, get it, and be prepared to have your mind blown.
Kaiser Chiefs:
Modern Way
- I Predict a Riot was probably the most popular song from the CD, but this one was my favorite.
…And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead: Will You Smile Again for Me? - I admit it - I only checked this band at first because of their awesome name. Turns out they know how to make an incredible album, as well.
The Black Keys:
Stack Shot Billy
- these guys have a cool White Stripes-meets-Stevie Ray Vaughn thing going on, and Rubber Factory was a great disc.
Green Day:
Are We the Waiting/St. Jimmy
- As much attention as American Idiot got, I feel like this particular song has been completely overlooked. Green Day's Bohemian Rhapsody, in my opinion.
The Bravery:
An Honest Mistake
- **see Bloc Party
Gorillaz:
Feel Good Inc
- Back in 2001 these guys released the single Clint Eastwood, and I thought they could never make anything as catchy as that. I was wrong.
Hot Hot Heat:
Goodnight Goodnight
- ** see Bloc Party
John Butler Trio:
What You Want
- this is one of those songs I loved the first time I heard it. Dark, moody, introspective...almost like if Dave Matthews did an Interpol cover.
United States of Electronica:
Climb the Walls (Umbrella of Love)
- Daft Punk also made a CD this year, but U.S.E even out-Daft Punk-ed that. Just plain fun mindless dance music.
The Arcade Fire:
Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)
- I really could have put any song from Funeral in this spot because the entire thing is outstanding, but this was the first one that popped into my head (maybe because it's track 1 on the disc, who knows)
The Decemberists:
The Engine Driver
- this is another song that just grabbed me the first time I ever heard it. The entire album is also excellent.
The Postal Service:
We Will become Silhouettes - OK, so this CD actually came out in '03, but I didn't get it until early this year. Not a bad song on the whole disc. This one was at least used in a Honda commercial this year, so I guess that qualifies it for this list


Mid-May through early September
Disc #2: Chapel Hill/Europe

Moving back to Chapel Hill to study for the bar exam this summer was a rather interesting experience. Aside from the fact that studying for that god-forsaken exam in itself was something new altogether, it was also just very bizarre being there at age 25 without any of my college friends around. Sure, UNC's campus is still as gorgeous as ever and Franklin Street really hasn't changed too much since I was last there, but there was definitely something missing. These were the sites of some of my fondest memories, yet I found the nostalgia factor alone could only carry me so far. I don't know if it was more missing my friends, just being a few years older, or having to deal with the bar exam (I know all played a part), but it just wasn't the same place to me and I was actually anxious to get out of there after the exam was over. So anxious, in fact, that I ended up in Europe as soon as my lease ran out. That whole series of events still surprises me even today - I literally made all of my plans in a matter of about 3 days, and those were days I probably should have been studying (but I passed, so who cares). But even without the extra studying, I did learn one thing: Late night + a few beers + a few crazy ideas + a little extra student loan money + no reasonable people around to talk some sense into me = fun European adventure. No complaints there.


Jack Johnson: Never Know
- Here's another case where I could've picked any song off the album, but had no narrow it down to one. A lot of people say all his music sounds the same - and I can't completely disagree - but I think In Between Dreams is his most complete effort so far.
Weezer:
Beverly Hills
- Weezer has always been great at producing the catchiest, sing-along type rock/pop/alt/emo you'll ever hear, and this one is no exception. Another great album.
Ben Folds:
Late
- I can't even drive through the Chapel Hill city limits without immediately wanting to turn on some Ben Folds, and fortunately I had the brand new Songs for Silverman to get me through this summer. Landed is probably the trendy choice for the album's best track, but I really enjoyed this one the most.
Beck:
Girl
- This song just has "summertime" written all over it. I've never been a huge Beck fan, but he always has a couple of tracks on each CD that I really like. This is one of them.
Cowboy Troy:
I Play Chicken with the Train
- A lot of the more traditional country music fans will tell you that "Country + Rap = CRap," but I think this is a cool song. What's not to love about a black cowboy rapper?
DMB:
Dreamgirl
- Stand Up is my pick for most disappointing album of the year, although this and maybe 2 or 3 other songs on there were pretty good. DMB is now officially off of my short list of bands that I would buy a CD from without having listened to it all first.
Dr. Dog:
Oh No
- I can't even really remember how I first heard of these guys, but I really enjoyed their CD, Easy Beat. It has sort of an early-60's West Coast vibe that I really got into.
Foo Fighters:
Best of You
- I've been a fan of the Foo Fighters for years, and I was really looking forward to In Your Honor. I loved the double CD electric/acoustic concept, and this is another place I could've stuck a couple of different songs.
Ludacris:
Pimpin’ All Over the World
- I first started listening to this song because someone told me about the shout out to Wet Willie's in Miami, but I'll admit it's insanely catchy. An unofficial theme song to the Europe trip.
Architecture in Helsinki:
Maybe You Can Owe Me
- These guys were playing at Cat's Cradle over the summer, and I downloaded this to see what they sounded like before I bought my ticket to the show. For some reason I ended up having to miss it, but I did enjoy this track.
Ryan Adams:
Sweet Illusions
- Adams completed his trifecta this year, releasing three different CDs. Cold Roses is the only one I currently own, and this is my favorite song on it. I'm planning to get the other two discs very soon.
The Sames:
Hate the Ocean
- here's my local music discovery of the summer. Out of Durham, NC, you've probably never heard of The Sames unless you've been listening to UNC, Duke, or NC State's student radio stations. I highly recommend picking up a copy of their debut CD, though; pretty strong effort all around.
The Coral:
In the Morning
- I got hooked on The Coral when I studied in London a few years ago, and Virgin Radio had this song in pretty heavy rotation all summer (yes, I listen online; I'm a dork).
Coldplay:
Speed of Sound
- this song was pretty much unavoidable if you were anywhere near a radio, television, or Old Navy store this year. This is Coldplay at its best; X & Y is also a solid album
James Blunt:
You're Beautiful
- this is one those songs I identify with because I know exactly what the guy is going through. You see a beautiful girl walking right towards you, and for one reason or another you're powerless to do or say anything about it. I think any guy can identify with that.
Fruit Bats:
When U Love Somebody
- the Mouthfuls CD actually came out in '03, so I have to file this one under "new to me." Overall I thought the album was very good, and this is one of the 3 or 4 tracks that I found outstanding.
Athlete:
Tourist
- OK, time for the cheesiest reason a song is on this list. This band is pretty big in Europe, and I was over there when I first heard their stuff. Yes, that's right, when I was a tourist. It actually is a good song, though.
Matterhorn Project:
MUH!
- Strangest song on here, hands down (I realize that's a pretty bold statement, considering Mars Volta is also on this list). The lead "vocals" here are performed by a cow. You heard me right: a cow. This was the song the owners played every morning at a hostel I stayed at in Switzerland.
David Gray:
The One I Love
- David Gray seemed to drop off the face of the earth for a few years there, but finally re-emerged with this single. I've always enjoyed his music, and this is no exception.
The Magic Numbers:
Love Me Like You
- If you haven't heard of this band, I strongly urge you to get your hands on a copy of their self-titled album. It's one of my sleeper picks for album of the year. Kind of a rock/pop/indie mixture that is very enjoyable.
Franz Ferdinand:
Do You Want to
- I loved Franz Ferdinand's debut album last year, and I was afraid that they were setting themselves for a huge sophomore slump by releasing the follow-up so quickly. It turns out there was nothing to be afraid of. This first single is only one of several great songs off of You Could Have it So Much Better.


Early September through the Present

Disc #3: New Bern
Law school was finished. The bar exam was over, and I had already purged most of what I had learned from my brain with hearty German beer. At this point I was thinking I would just move back home for about a month, see my parents, hang out with some old friends, and generally just chill for a while as I waited for the job offers to roll in. But that's not exactly how it happened. September flew by, and I still wasn't
really giving 100% to the job hunt - it was nice to be home for awhile and my parents were cool with it, so I was very selective about where I sent resumes. Then it was October. By this point a little desperation was starting to creep in, but still nothing major. I spent the weekdays completely devoted to job hunting, but the weekends (which often included Friday and Monday) were still mine. I had an awesome trip up to Pennsylvania, and there were several weekend road trips around the great state of NC. Then it was November. Job searching was now a 7-day per week activity. "This will be the month," I told myself. But alas, it was not. All of a sudden, Thanksgiving comes and goes, and then it's December. Holy Shit, I'm still living at home! This month has seen nothing new on the job front except a score of new rejection letters. At least there were some awesome parties when everyone came home for Christmas. Here are the songs that have helped me cope:

Page France:
Chariot
- I've been on sort of an acousticy-folky binge for a while now (Ryan Adams, Fruit Bats, David Gray, etc), and these guys fit right in. I found out about this band on fluxblog, but I honestly don't know a whole lot about them.
Limbeck:
Everyone's in the Parking Lot
- this song sort of fits in the same category as Chariot, but doesn't have as much of the lo-fi feel to it. A catchy little song, though, about how bars/clubs/concerts can get so loud that you just want to go outside and hang out. We've all been there before.
Kanye West:
Gold Digger
- OK, unless you've been living in a cave for the last six months then you've probably heard this song about 978 times. And because of that, it will always remind of this fall. Still a good song from a great album. By the way, why do all rap CDs have to have 3 or 4 skits mixed in with the music? I've never understood that.
White Stripes:
Denial Twist
- I've liked - but haven't really loved - the White Stripes for a couple of years, but I can safely say that thanks to Get Behind Me Satan I am now firmly on the bandwagon. My Doorbell was probably a bigger commercial hit, but this song is the one that did it for me.
The Greenhornes:
I'm Going Away
- More folky-type stuff here. If I'm not mistaken, these are actually the guys that backed up Jack White and Loretta Lynn on the Van Leer Rose album that so many people went nuts for.
Sufjan Stevens:
Come On! Feel the Illinoise!...
- This guy is either a musical genius or is completely out of his mind. I haven't decided yet, but there is something undeniably appealing about the Illinois CD. I'm really rooting for him to cover all 50 states, but I don't think that would in any way settle the genius/insanity debate.
Stellastar*:
Lost in Time
- I really liked this song from the first time I heard it, and I had really high hopes for whole album. Too bad the rest of the songs did nothing for me at all when I finally heard them. It's almost like these guys are trying a little too hard to be The Cure. This one is worth the download as a single though.
Broken Social Scene:
Ibi Dreams of Pavement
- I really started to get into this band at the end of the summer, unfortunately about the same time my CD budget was starting to evaporate. Enter Paste Magazine. Each issue includes a CD filled with some groups you've heard of, and a lot more that you probably haven't. It's all good stuff, though, and I’ve played the October CD repeatedly from beginning-to-end this fall. This is the first of several entries from that disc.
Dungen:
Festival
- Paste song #2. Another instance of a song completely grabbing me from the first listen. I really tried to get into the Ta Det Lugnt album, but a lot of it was kind of out in left field for my tastes. Great track nonetheless.
Lucero:
Hold Me Close
- I think I read about these guys in Rolling Stone one time, but I can't remember how exactly I started listening to them. Sort of a dark, alt-country vibe here.
Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah:
Upon this Tidal Wave of Young Blood
- For what seemed like months, I kept hearing how this group was the next big thing, but I couldn't find any of their music anywhere - even on the internet, and certainly not at any of the crappy music stores around here. I finally got my hands on it when they released it to the big online services, and I wasn't disappointed. Some of the CD is a little strange, but overall it's really good.
The Cribs:
Mirror Kissers
- Love at first listen. This is one of those songs that make me immediately pull out my guitar and start looking for tabs. It's all of three chords, and insanely fun to play along with - if I were ever in a non-cover band, this is the type of sound I would want to have. I'm looking forward to getting a hold of their full CD.
The National:
Secret Meeting
- This song has one my favorite lines ever: "Didn't anybody tell you? Didn't anybody tell you this river's full of lost sharks?" I don't know why exactly that speaks to me like it does, but I think it's just a great metaphor for so many things in life.
Death Cab for Cutie:
Soul Meets Body
- Another Paste song, although this is one band I didn't need that magazine to turn me onto. I still haven't quite warmed up to Plans the way I did to Transatlanticism, but I haven't listened to it nearly as many times either. Great track.
Miami Football Team:
7th Floor Crew
- Go back and read my intro paragraph; I said I was going to list the most memorable songs of the year, not necessarily the best songs of the year. If you've heard this song once, then I guarantee you remember it. I'm thinking about getting the lyrics transcribed onto my diploma.
The Darkness:
One Way Ticket
- '80s revival is all around music these days. If The Killers are our Flock of Seagulls, and Franz Ferdinand is our Duran Duran, then perhaps these guys are our Def Leppard. Apparently grunge didn't kill arena rock after all; it just sent it into a Terry Schiavo-like vegetative state. This CD proves there's still some life left in there somewhere.
The Flaming Lips:
Mr. Ambulance Driver
- This song was in Wedding Crashers this past summer, but it took me a while to track it down. I've never really been a big Flaming Lips fan in the past, but if this song is an indication of the direction they're heading, then sign me up.
Matt Pond PA:
So Much Trouble
- For a long time, I only knew this band for their cover of Champaign Supernova that was floating around on the internet. And because of that, I assumed that I wouldn't like them, as I have a theory that any group whose breakthrough song is a cover is, in reality, horrible. These guys might just prove me wrong. I love this song, and am looking forward to giving the album a listen.
Go Team:
Huddle Formation
- Every song on this album sounds like the theme song to a bad '70s sitcom, but for some reason, it works. I had read several reviews before I heard the CD, and I mainly just listened to it out of curiosity. I'm really surprised that I liked it as much as I did, and I have tons of respect for the group for pulling it off so well.
Shout out Louds:
The Comeback
- Howl, Howl, Gaff, Gaff is my other big sleeper pick for album of the year along with The Magic Numbers. I really can't describe how much I have enjoyed this CD. I first heard this song as a single about a month or so ago, and found it really catchy, but I wasn't prepared for every single song on the CD to be just as good. There's nothing really too deep here; just a fun rock album. There should be more of those.

Happy New Year!

Saturday, December 24, 2005

The Chief Export of Chuck Norris is Pain

As I woke up this morning (afternoon) trying to recover from the wildest Christmas party I've ever been to, I starting playing around online and stumbled on this little gem of a website - random "facts" about everyone's favorite Texas Ranger and all-around martial arts badass, Chuck Norris. Here are a few of my favorites:

- "If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds
till." After you ask, "Two seconds till what?" he roundhouse kicks
you in the face. "

- "
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris. "

- "
It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a
pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure
more pirates to him. "

- "
When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck
said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He
came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and
when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came
with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he
gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question
Chuck Norris.""

- "
If you unscramble the letters in "Chuck Norris" you get "Huck corn,
sir." That is why every fall, Chuck travels to Nebraska and burns the
entire state down. "

- "
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the
JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with
his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer
amazement."

- "
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned
beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull. "

And it goes on and on like that. Maybe it's the hangover talking, but I think these are pure comic gold. Go to
http://www.4q.cc/chuck/ for a random "fact" that you can grade for yourself, or check out http://www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty for the top 30 as voted on by other people.

Merry Christmas to all Christians, Happy Chanukah to all Jews, and Happy Holidays to Bill O'Reilly!

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Phonetaps and other Holiday Cheer

Well, good ol' W has done it again. Less than a week after I post on this very site that I'm starting to regain some respect for the man for owning up to the Iraqi intelligence failures, the news breaks that he's been secretly allowing warrantless phonetaps of American citizens. And once that news broke, how did he handle it? Admit there were mistakes made (like with Iraq), and vow that it will never happen again? No.

He condemns those that broke the story and says the practice is a vital tool in the war on terror!

Jesus Christ! It's bad enough that I - or any one of us - may be spied upon by our own un-checked Executive Branch, but now I've been forced to use the Lord's name in vein right here at Christmastime, too. There is so much more I could say about this, as I think it is totally disgraceful, but everything I would say has been said before and said better by others.

In case you're one of the 2 or 3 people who reads this but doesn't also read "Salt in the Wound," here's a link to a much more informed and well thought-out version of my own reaction to this debacle: http://thebrewerpatriot.blogspot.com/2005/12/king-bush.html

Monday, December 19, 2005

How it Feels to Get Robbed by a Nun

This is actually something that happened to me about two weeks ago, and for some reason I completely forgot to post it (actually it's kind of stupid, and that's why I forgot to post it, but I've got nothing better to do this afternoon, so here goes). And no, the title isn't a metaphor for something else. I swear, this actually happened.*

It all started when I was out with my mom trying to find something for my dad for Christmas, and we ended up at Sears. I got out of the car and was walking towards the store, when something caught my eye: it was one of those white oval bumper stickers (NC folks probably know them as the "OBX" stickers) that usually have a city's initials on it. I know you've seen these things. The "JH" one is pretty popular (Jackson Hole, Wy), and the Nantucket one is big too, ("NKT" maybe; I know they use the airport designation, but I can't remember the exact combination of letters) but there are definitely others as well.

Anyway, this particular sticker that I noticed had "SPEC" on that familiar white background, and that immediately reminded me of something that I had not thought about in years. Surely this couldn't be what I thought it was. But as I stepped up for a closer look, I saw the smaller print below the large block "SPEC," and my suspicions were confirmed: "St. Paul's Education Center."


OK, some background is needed here. As I began kindergarten, my parents enrolled me in St. Paul's School, the local Catholic school here in New Bern. That's where I spent my formative years from age 5 to 14, as I didn't get to go to public (or as I like to say, "normal") school until 9th grade. However, when I was in 6th grade, the Diocese built us a shiny new building, and we got a new principal. These two events inspired someone to run with the "fresh-start" theme and formally rename the school to "St. Paul's Education Center." (On a side note, this is also roughly the same time frame that now-convicted-child-molester-priest Fr. Jim was at our Church; see my earlier post for that story)

Then when my class reached the 8th grade, we were assigned a project: we were to break up into groups, and each week a different group would be in charge of using the school's intercom system to deliver news/announcements to the rest of the students and teachers. I'm almost certain this idea was ripped off directly from an old "Saved by the Bell" episode, but that's not really important to the story. I remember being pretty excited about this new project, as it was much cooler than most of the crap we usually had to do around there.

Before we broke into teams, though, there were some basic administrative details that we were supposed to decide together as a class. One of those things was the name for our new "Radio Show." One bright young pupil (uh, myself) suggested simply calling it SPEC Radio, incorporating the school's new initials into the well-known 4-letter radio designation format (WXXX for us in the east; KXXX for you left-coasters). Needless to say, everyone involved was awe-struck by this brilliant idea, and the name was adopted immediately.

Soon the name began to catch on around school. People starting talking about the SPEC, much the same way someone might talk about The OC today (while in fact, the SPEC and The OC have absolutely nothing in common). But eventually my class graduated, and we all began the rather daunting task of adjusting to regular society. For most of us it was through alcohol abuse, while some others dealt with it constructively through humor, some chose drugs, and others just went into deep depression and have been living as hermits ever since.


And it was there, in that Sears parking lot, that everything came rushing back to me. That was MY slogan adorning that bumpersticker. Apparently my brainchild lived on at that school long after I was gone, and now the nuns are cashing in on my idea with a whole line "SPEC" custom merchandise. OK, for all of you IP aficionados out there, I'm sure they technically do have the rights to it since it was all originally part of a school project that they commissioned (plus the fact that it's blatantly obvious), AND I'm sure that the proceeds are probably used to help cover the tuition of under-privileged students or feed and clothe the homeless, but nonetheless, I couldn't help but feel just a little hurt.

And no, I'm not going to drive over there and demand a cut of the profits or anything like that - I wouldn't step foot back in that place even if it were just like The OC - but I would like to at least receive a little credit for the idea. Maybe just a short announcement on the morning radio show?


*Some of these events may not have actually happened. Most of this story is from a LONG time ago, and where I couldn't remember specific details, I made up my own details to try to make it more interesting.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Dogs and Poop

I've been taking care of my brother's dog, Emma, for a couple of weeks while he's been finishing up with his finals this semester. Emma is a very cool dog, and she loves to chase frisbees and pinecones and squirrels. However, I recently noticed another one of her habits - a much more disgusting habit at that.

She likes to eat her own feces.

I'm not talking about a little investigatory bite, like she might do with a milkbone or a beggin' strip. This is full-scale chowing down. And she does it with the same enthusiasm that a person might have when digging into a porterhouse steak or maybe fine Italian cuisine. But, mind you, instead of either one of those delicacies, we're talking about her own droppings here (not that it would be any better if she were eating another dog's turds). But it's been especially bad these past two days, as she is constantly taking a break from our backyard frisbee games to gobble down these smelly brown treats.

Granted, I'm neither a big biology nor animal behavior expert, but it seems to me that there is something very backwards about this. Aside from the taste - and my God, imagine what it must taste like - I can think a million other reasons why this is so wrong. Say the taste isn't an issue - and for her, it evidently is not - why would a living being crave its own excrement? Is that not a concentrated pile of stuff that your body has already rejected? If it didn't work out for you the first time around, why on earth would you go back for round 2?

Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "Shit-Eating Grin"

I really have nothing profound or even mildly amusing to say this habit, but I was just thoroughly disgusted, and felt I needed to share.

You're welcome.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Maybe Bush Isn't Hopeless After All

In a rare show of humility today, President Bush offered up the following statement:

"It is true that much of the intelligence turned out to be wrong. As president I am responsible for the decision to go into Iraq."

So, who exactly are you, and what have you done with our President?!?

I know this doesn't cure all that's wrong with the world, but I feel it's a good start....especially from a man who publicly acknowledged that he couldn't think of one single mistake he had made during his first term. Where this leads next is hard to say right now, but I think by making this simple statement, Bush will probably at least stop his free-falling public opinion numbers. Whether it leads to substantial change in administration policy remains to be seen. If nothing else, though, it is definitely a step in the right direction.

Here's the full article: http://www.cnn.com/2005/POLITICS/12/14/bush.iraq/index.html

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Big News from a Small Town

Two interesting news items today from my own little home town of New Bern, NC:

Priest Sex Abuse
It's kind of been a while since there were any Catholic priest sex-abuse scandals in the news, but leave it to small town NC to dig up a new one. It turns out that Father Jim Behan, who was a priest at my church back in the mid-90's was doing more than just receiving confessions from young boys - he was also receiving blowjobs! The specific events didn't happen at my church, though; it was actually about 25 years ago in Philadelphia and has just recently come to light. But still....I took Communion from this guy. Ugh! I think they should have offered Listerine instead of wine after taking those wafers.

High School Football State Title Game
Story number two today also involves young boys, but not any pedophilia. My very own New Bern High School Bears play Charlotte Independence High for the state title in football tonight in Raleigh. This is the Bears' third trip to the title game in 4 years, with the previous 2 trips resulting in losses to - who else - Charlotte Independence. The most impressive thing about Independence: they haven't lost a football game since the Clinton administration. That's right...they are currently enjoying a 91 game winning streak. Bears/Knights #1 was actually on ESPN a few years ago, largely because Independence's QB was now-Gator Chris Leak, and I bet if NB can pull off the upset in this one then they'll get a Sports Center mention. Hopefully this year's edition won't turn out like Bears/Knights #2, which as painful to watch as a young boy getting raped by a priest. Zing!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Congratulations Zach and Angela!



In case anyone missed it, UM Law's own Angela Nolfi and Zach Cohen were the big winners on Fear Factor last night. They also got to participate in two of the coolest stunts I've ever seen on that show - hanging from a moving helicopter to collect these little flags, and retrieving gold bars from an underwater armored truck. Their "nasty" stunt - and there's always one of those - was actually pretty cool too, as they had to navigate around rats, spiders, and nasty water in a dark tunnel and turn out the fire that was blocking the exit. That means they got avoid what, at least in my opinion, is the worst stunt on the show: eating weird shit. That is the number one reason I would never even try out for Fear Factor in the first place.

Anyway, I just want to say good job guys, and you totally earned it. Not only did you decimate the competition (especially in the underwater thing), but you also proved that normal people can actually win on these shows. I'm so sick of the winners on these shows always being the biggest douchebags on the planet. Both of you are awesome people, and I'm so happy for you.

Congratulations!

Monday, December 05, 2005

Virginia Tech Spites Me Twice in One Weekend

It was bad enough that the Hokies football squad went out and played like a bunch high schoolers against an awful Seminoles team on Saturday, punching FSU's BCS ticket. But then last night, the VaTech basketball team came down to Durham to take on Duke at Cameron. Now normally my intense hatred of Duke basketball prevents me from even watching them play at all (except against UNC), as I figure that even devoting a small amount of my time to viewing their brand of classless hoops in a way supports the program, and I would never do that.

That's right, get a 45 point lead on No Name University and leave your starting 5 on the floor. Yeah, you're awesome.

So as usual, I basically ignored the game last night, assuming the Hokies would just be the next victim of Coach K's maniacal ambitions. But then I noticed on the ticker that with mere seconds to go, VaTech is winning.....not my much, but they were winning. Of course, I immediately changed over to the game, planning to see the stunned looks of disbelief on the Duke fans' faces. Instead, what do I see? Freakin' Sean Dockery hits a last-second 50 foot 3-pointer to win at the buzzer. Great.

In honor of this miracle basket, I feel I must share the following picture. Thanks a million to my friend Richard for passing it my way. It's something that everyone needs to see.

Just in case anyone is unfamiliar with Duke basketball and its fans, this is what they all look like. Every single one of them. Going to UNC, I had several unfortunate opportunities to encounter these "Crazies," and I was creeped out every time. Where exactly does one even get their hands on an outfit like that? In Durham, that's where.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Bull Crap; Shit

OK, so not the most creative title I've ever come up with. However, I feel it is still very fitting to describe the travesty that is the college football postseason. Yeah, I admit it, the system kind of worked this year, but only for the title game as far as I'm concerned. I've watched a lot of college football this season, and it's pretty obvious to me that Texas against USC would make the best single-game championship. It should be a great game, and I'm really looking forward to it. But what about the other BCS bowls? Not so much. Let's take a look.

With four BCS bowls, there are eight teams that get to share in the national spotlight. These bowls bring schools BIG money and immeasurable amounts of recruiting appeal, so with 8 spots to fill, it's the eight best teams in the country that get to go, right? Well, no.

Here are the final BCS standings for the year:
1) USC
2) Texas
3) Penn State
4) Ohio State
5) Oregon
6) Notre Dame
7) Georgia
8) Miami

And here are the matchups for the four BCS bowl games:
Rose: USC v. Texas
Orange: Penn St. v. Florida St.
Sugar: West Virginia v. Georgia
Fiesta: Notre Dame v. Ohio St.

Alright, the Rose Bowl is solid. The Fiesta Bowl is good. But look at the Orange and Sugar Bowls - FSU and W.Va? WTF? That's right; thanks to the ridiculous conference tie-in system of the BCS, these guys get a free pass to the big time. Sorry Oregon and Miami. Now I'll admit that the Orange Bowl's Paterno/Bowden matchup is quite intriguing, and I'm really looking forward to seeing my surrogate team of the season dismantle an FSU team I hate with every fiber of my being. But did you see FSU this year? They played slightly-less-crappy than Miami to win in the season opener, went on a spectacular 3 game losing streak, then re-exposed an overrated Va.Tech team in the ACC Championship game. And West Virginia? They had one quality win all year (over Louisville) and generally just coasted through an awful Big East lineup.

You may be saying to yourself, "but these conference title games act as a kind of playoff, so in the end all of these teams deserve to be there." Well, if you are saying that, then you are wrong and/or mentally retarded. First of all, not every conference has a title game, so teams from conferences that do are actually penalized in a way by having to play an additional quality opponent. Also, some conferences are just plain better than others. This season the Big East does not deserve to have a team go to the BCS. Period. And as much of an ACC fan as I am, even I can admit that it's questionable whether any of those schools deserve to be in the top 8 either.

What's the answer then? I know this is basically beating a dead horse, but we NEED a REAL playoff. I just don't understand all of the arguments against it: The players would miss too much school; the season would run through February; etc; etc. I just think it's funny that Division I-AA, Division II, and every other division on down the line can have a true playoff without bringing about the apocalypse.

And it really wouldn't take any huge changes to make a playoff work. First, cut the regular season down to 9 games, or 10 if there's a conference championship game. It's really simple: just cut out those early-season non-conference junk matchups. Would anyone really miss watching Texas take on LA Lafayette, or LSU facing Appalachian St.? No, they wouldn't. Not one bit.

After reducing the schedule, we really don't even need to change the BCS rankings formula. Just throw away the asinine conference tie-ins, and take the top 8 teams to the playoffs. The BCS rankings would serve as the seeding mechanism. Unfortunately, the computer elements are a necessary evil given the limited number of games each year, (I think you would need at least a 20 - 25 game schedule for each team to get an accurate ranking system based on head-to-head matchups alone), so they stay.

Under this system, I imagine this year's playoffs to play out as follows:

Saturday, Dec. 10
The (fill in any one of the meaningless corporate sponsorship names out there) Bowl
#1 USC v. #8 Miami
The (**see above**) Bowl
#4 Ohio St. v. #5 Oregon
The (**see above**) Bowl
#2 Texas v. #7 Georgia
The (**see above**) Bowl
#3 Penn St. v. #6 Notre Dame

Saturday, Dec. 17
Sugar Bowl
#1 USC v. #5 Oregon (I hate OSU, so they get upset in the first round)
Orange Bowl
#2 Texas v. #3 Penn St.

Saturday, Dec. 31
Rose Bowl
#1 USC v. #3 Penn St. (Mack Brown is a tool, so bye-bye Texas)

Champion: USC (Reggie Bush may or may not actually be mortal)

I just don't see why that wouldn't work. Sure the ultimate result is probably the same as what we'll get in real life, but look what we're missing out on along the way. The season is essentially the same length, there's no way the ad revenues and ticket sales from those games wouldn't be astronomical, and we would get an even betterreason to drink heavily on New Year's Eve. It's a win-win-win situation. Jeez, you could even start the whole thing up a week earlier and expand the field to 16 teams. How intense would that be? And we could still have all of the other minor bowl games for the teams that don't make the playoffs, too. I think fans would still treat these other bowls as an excuse to travel and a way to give closure to the season, just as they do now.

I've heard Congress is actually thinking about getting involved with the BCS much the same way as it did for the steroid problem in baseball. And after seeing the major improvements to MLB's drug policy that came largely as a result of Congress's pressure, I think there really may be a potential for big changes to the BCS system. Now if only I could get a couple of Congressmen to start reading this blog...