The Gritty, Dangerous World of Real Estate Law

Let's face it: when a large part of your law practice consists of prosecuting home foreclosures, you're pretty much never the "good guy." Often "success" means putting a family out on the streets. And the stories....my God, the stories. I'd say about 25% - 30% of the cases I see involve folks who admit they've missed some payments, but it was only because of illness, death in the family, or getting laid off. It is not fun.

Sometimes, however, these otherwise heart-wrenching matters are given a little jolt when the homeowners start threatening me with bodily harm. This is actually a rare occurrence, but I do always look forward to seeing what kind of creative schemes these people can cook up on the spot to toss in my direction.

My all-time favorite used to be a case I did about 5 months ago, when the guy threatened to stab the Clerk of Court and then come after me. There was nothing particularly poetic about the phrasing of his threat, but the graphic attention to detail was impressive. However, that one has been moved to number two after what happened today.

Let me set this up for you: the man showed up to the hearing, visibly enraged before we even started. Even out in the lobby of the courthouse, he was already ranting like a madman. When the hearing started, he revealed his basic argument: he wasn't denying that he had missed payments; he was saying the bank shouldn't have made him pay while he was in prison. Fair enough. But then he said the greatest line I have heard since I started this job. And I quote:

"I've killed a man by running him over with my truck...and don't think I won't do anything I can to save my house now!"

I guess I should really start looking both ways before I cross the street.