The September Sessions (Songs from October)
Have you ever tried to make a list of the best songs of all time? So many things to think about. Trying to consider so many intangible elements, balancing your own personal tastes against true artistic merit, weighting song writing/composition against recorded performance....not an easy task.
Many of these factors would also come into play if you were trying to make a list of the worst songs of all time. However, creating a "worst of" list would be at least slightly easier than its "best of" counterpart due to the fact that at least two of the worst songs ever written/performed/recorded have emerged just in the past few months. The first is "London Bridge" by Fergie. The other: "Fergielicious," also by Fergie.
My problems with Fergie are nothing new. But while I found her previous work with the Black Eyed Peas generally tolerable - except for "My Humps," which would undoubtedly also make the "worst of" list - the "music" she has produced during her relatively brief solo career has been among the most mind-numbing, objectional sounds I've ever had the misfortune of hearing.
And the worst part of it is not that it's just pointless crap, but that it's a poor imitation of pointless crap. Everything Fergie has done is straight out of the Gewn Stefani playbook. It's like she was sitting there with her producer listening to "holla-back girl," and suddenly blurted out, "yeah, let's make the album sound just like that...only much, much worse!"
And have you seen that Verizon V-Cast commercial where that one dude is totally rocking out to "Fergielicious" on his phone? What a tool! I understand it's tough to make it in television, but if I ever did a commercial like that I would seriously consider taking my own life. Just watching it on TV makes want to chug a bottle of Draino.
Anyway, here are some songs that won't make you contemplate bodily harm:
Many of these factors would also come into play if you were trying to make a list of the worst songs of all time. However, creating a "worst of" list would be at least slightly easier than its "best of" counterpart due to the fact that at least two of the worst songs ever written/performed/recorded have emerged just in the past few months. The first is "London Bridge" by Fergie. The other: "Fergielicious," also by Fergie.
My problems with Fergie are nothing new. But while I found her previous work with the Black Eyed Peas generally tolerable - except for "My Humps," which would undoubtedly also make the "worst of" list - the "music" she has produced during her relatively brief solo career has been among the most mind-numbing, objectional sounds I've ever had the misfortune of hearing.
And the worst part of it is not that it's just pointless crap, but that it's a poor imitation of pointless crap. Everything Fergie has done is straight out of the Gewn Stefani playbook. It's like she was sitting there with her producer listening to "holla-back girl," and suddenly blurted out, "yeah, let's make the album sound just like that...only much, much worse!"
And have you seen that Verizon V-Cast commercial where that one dude is totally rocking out to "Fergielicious" on his phone? What a tool! I understand it's tough to make it in television, but if I ever did a commercial like that I would seriously consider taking my own life. Just watching it on TV makes want to chug a bottle of Draino.
Anyway, here are some songs that won't make you contemplate bodily harm:
- Ben Kweller - Sundress
- Decemberists - O Valencia!
- Our Lady of the Highway - Duet
- Hem - Not California
- Adult Swim & Stones Throw - Monkey Suite
- The Killers - When You Were Young
- The Lemonheads - Become the Enemy
- The Wrens - Hopeless
- Beachhouse - Master of None
- The Weepies - Take it from Me
- Roman Candle - You Don't Belong to this World
- Adam Arcuragi - 1981
posted by jonphiwil @ 6:51 PM
3 Comments:
At 6:03 PM ,
The Brewer Patriot said...
wow. that guy really likes fergie. i mean, really likes her.
that being said, i agree j-will. all of fergie's songs have made me want to jam out my ears with sharp pencils. black eyed peas used to do some really good music before fergie and her busted face came along.
plus, she pees herself. simple as that.
At 11:18 PM ,
Anonymous said...
Wow. Being upset that you spelled "Fergalicious" wrong is like being upset that someone poops on a turd.
Maybe Ktown should relocate from Moron County and find real musicians to support. Or maybe he should just continue his love of Fergie until it becomes an unhealthy, agrophobia-enducing obsession. Either way.
At 8:05 PM ,
jonphiwil said...
Wow, I step away for a few days, and look what I miss out on!
ktown - first of all, I never exactly praised Gwen Stefani, but I try not to be too hard on her because I liked a lot of the stuff she did with No Doubt. Second, I never commented one way or the other on physical beauty. Yeah, Fergie has a nice body, but she also has a face like a bulldog. Finally, I've never claimed this list to be "art." Since I started it last year, it's always been a mix of "here's what I like" and "here's some stuff you might not have heard before." Honestly, there have been many songs to make the list for no other reason than being novel/unusual/creative.
BP - agree with every word
Anon - love the "real musicians" comment. There is so much actual talent out there, just waiting to find the right audience, it blows my mind to think about some of the stupid, formualic "music" the record labels insist on flooding the market with.
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